Beautiful When You Desire: On Women’s Torah Study

A friend of mine turned to the rabbi they usually consult with and asked if she was allowed to study Gemara. The unique environment in which we reside, which gives the greatest respect to residents of the Beis Midrash, naturally raises our curiosity – “What are they doing there” – and to yearn for a taste. The rabbi answered that there is no prohibition against studying on one’s own initiative. Still, he qualified that she must learn alone, without a chavruta, without assistance from the male side of the family, and without using “cheating” editions of the Talmud, such as the Artscroll translation.

She accepted the challenge with excitement, but after an hour of grappling with the punctuation-free Aramaic text, she gave up. “Now I get why Gemara study is not open to women,” she declared, expressing new and unbounded appreciation for her husband and sons and their ability to cope in this challenging field. I asked her if they also locked themselves in an isolated room during their studies without any human or textual assistance and if they, too, started doing this for the first time at the age of forty.

In this article, I will not delve into the debate about whether women should study Torah. This discussion is generally framed as an educational dilemma: should girls be taught Torah knowledge beyond what they need to navigate their local circumstances? School and public teaching involve complex social aspects, from which I prefer to refrain, though I will note that much has changed in girls’ Torah education over the past century, and much more will surely change over the next one.

Girls and women often learn Torah through intermediaries. This can be metaphorically likened to extracting knowledge from a “secondary vessel,” which, as we know from the laws of Shabbos, is unable quite to reach boiling point

Moreover, the subject of this article does not require us to open up the halachic discussion concerning teaching Torah to women. When it comes to voluntary women’s study, arising from a desire to learn and become deeply familiar with the Torah bookcase, very few halachic Poskim will forbid the practice. A clear distinction is made between the personal, private arena, and the public space. The halachic discussion refers to “someone who teaches his daughter Torah,” and not to a woman who decides to open a sefer and delve into Torah study.

Girls and women often learn Torah through intermediaries. This can be metaphorically likened to extracting knowledge from a “secondary vessel,” which, as we know from the laws of Shabbos, is unable quite to reach boiling point. The Torah teachings they receive are colored by teachers who impart their own moral character and personal style, marking the Torah with enthusiasm, selective interpretation, or an inclination towards gematria and wordplay. It is commonly assumed that Charedi women cannot engage with the Torah language and independently extract its messages for their lives. Consequently, speakers must interpose between women and the text, slowly and meticulously explaining what they may (and may not) derive from it.

I wish to make a point I consider noteworthy, addressed to those who prefer to satiate their souls from wells of living waters instead of thirstily drinking Kafka, Moliere, and Zweig

Aside from the unreasonable generalization towards half the People of the Book (and giving broad and automatic credit towards the other half), I wish to make a point I consider noteworthy, addressed to those who prefer to satiate their souls from wells of living waters instead of thirstily drinking Kafka, Moliere, and Zweig.

You Are Beautiful When You Desire

In the Midrash on Shir Hashirim, the verse “You are beautiful, my beloved, like the city of Tirtzah” (Shir Hashirim 6:4) beautifully captures the essence of the persona I wish to discuss.

“You are beautiful, my beloved, like Tirtzah.” What is the meaning of the simile “like Tirtzah?” The Midrash clarifies: “Like Tirtzah – when you desire.” It elaborates: “When you desire, you do not need to ask someone or learn from someone” (Shir Hashirim Rabbah 6:4, paragraph 2). When you desire something, you don’t need to ask or learn from anyone. You can achieve it yourself.

When you desire something, you don’t need to ask or learn from anyone. You can achieve it yourself

“You are beautiful, my beloved, when you desire.” Personal initiative is especially beautiful when it draws from a desire to participate in holiness. This is the feminine aspect of humanity’s relationship with Hashem, “my beloved.” The feminine element is voluntary, non-obligatory. Women are not commanded. You are beautiful when you desire. Compliance places action ahead of a person’s inner will. This is a quality of awe and reverence, putting Hashem’s will before personal desires. A voluntary outlook reverses this order. The action begins from inner desire. This provides a different layer of meaning. It is a voluntary offering to Hashem, an act of love. It has the power to become part of the Torah, a part that was hitherto absent from the text.

The differences between “one who acts as instructed” and “one who acts though not instructed” are usually seen as a hierarchy. The one who is instructed is type A, while the other is a faithful imitation of the original. The above midrash raises a different aspect of the difference. There is a particular virtue in doing something that originates within, from one’s own will, without any explicit duty or obligation. This is a complementary dimension, another type of engagement with Hashem. If you prefer, it relates to the dualities of awe and love, kindness and strength. This type of Torah study derives from a quest for Hashem. It is standing at the bottom of the mountain, waiting to hear Hashem’s word from deep within the clouds of mystery.

Compliance places action ahead of a person’s inner will. This is a quality of awe and reverence, putting Hashem’s will before personal desires. A voluntary outlook reverses this order

Rabbi Klonimus Kalmish Shapira addresses this issue in his reference to the symbolic essence of the miraculous well associated with Miriam:

A righteous woman, studying Torah and fulfilling the mitzvos – these are her individual acts, since she is not obligated to perform them, so she has not been encouraged to the same extent by Heaven to perform the acts. […] She reached this elevated level not by inspiration from above but rather by self-motivation […] therefore the well, which is a source of holy living water, was in her merit.”[1]

Rabbi Shapira delineates two alternative approaches. The male side is represented by a heavenly awakening, by a Divinely given instruction. The female side, “Miriam’s well” rising from the earth, represents an autonomous decision not out of obedience but out of love.

Where her heart desires

Discussions on female Torah study always address the question of what “female Torah study” actually is. In the attempt to find the uniqueness of female Torah study, a Beis Midrash has been developed that caters to Charedi women burdened with childcare. Therein, we will find lessons in outlook and morality, psychology in a Jewish spirit, explanations of the special mitzvos of women, and concise halachic study for immediate practice. Fortunately, there are many topics to discuss.

The assumption that female Torah study should look fundamentally different from the male equivalent is not necessarily accurate

Yet, this is not “Torah study” in the regular sense of the expression. We have yet to find a Charedi man who reads Tzena U’rena for his delight or studies laws of Shabbos without the accompanying in-depth study. The assumption that female Torah study should look fundamentally different from the male equivalent is not necessarily accurate. The Shulchan Aruch is common to all, there is a strong tradition on how Torah is studied, and every learner can connect to it in his or her own way.

If there is something special about women’s Torah, it is the voluntary and eager pursuit of Hashem’s teachings. The halachic realm includes a range of customs that women have willingly embraced over generations, some of which have become integral to the halachic corpus. Thus, questions like “Have you already finished studying all of Chumash with Rashi, so that you want to learn Gemara?” seem meaningless to me. Such objections are often reflexive responses from a mindset that seeks dichotomous divisions. A woman, however, can learn “only where her heart desires.” No one can know, on your behalf, what suits you, what is right for you, or what will uniquely connect you to He who spoke and brought the world into being.

I recently came across Rabbi Shimshon Pincus’s answer to a person who asked if somebody installing a metal door lacks trust in Hashem. Rabbi Pincus argued that if I tell him not to install a metal door, he will accept it and not install it. The problem is that he will do this not because he trusts Hashem, but because he relies on my advice not to install the door. He will perceive this as a segualah, a magical charm: if I don’t buy a metal door, thieves will not come. This is not a manifestation of trust in Hashem; if Hashem had been in the picture, he wouldn’t have asked the question in the first place.

Rabbi Pincus continues to write: “True, I do know Hashem, but I do not know the relationship between you and Hashem, your connection to Him. If so, how can I judge you? This is something that depends on your own heart, on your relationship with your Father.”[2]

In light of these words, we can say that women’s Torah study is also a matter between a woman and her Creator. It is a search for a direct connection with Hashem’s Word. Precisely because she is not commanded in this study, who can tell her the nature of this connection and how to build it, if it is permissible for her, and to what extent? Who can declare the condition “only if you’ve completed reciting all of Tehillim, tackled all the laundry piles, and volunteered for Ezer Mi-Zion”? Who is qualified to stand in this place and tell me how to weave my relationship with Hashem, and how to interpret His word? This is a personal matter. A stranger cannot enter the holy Temple of Hashem’s worship.

Our Feet on Har Sinai

Torah study is a desire to hear Hashem’s voice speaking to us. If direct speech is difficult, we can ask for translation channels, as the Israelites did at Har Sinai. You can hear Rabbanit Yamima Mizrachi, listen to Rabbi Biderman’s talks, and connect with a variety of Shiurim on the phone service of Kol Halashon. It is all Torah. Yet, it is also possible to hear the unmitigated words of the Torah and the Sages themselves, to become an integral part of the vhakla vetariya, the traditional back and forth of Torah dialogue. We can read books on Mussar and character improvement from all ages of Jewish history and study the Tanach with or without Rashi. We can study Midrashim. Halachot. A folio of Gemara with the Artscroll translation or an illuminated version of the Mishnah. There are many paths leading to the Omnipresent. This, by the way, is what Yemima Mizrachi seeks to achieve; in the wake of listening to her classes, many women seek the original texts she quotes: Maharal, Nefesh Hachaim, Midrash, Sifri, books of Jewish philosophy, and so on. Independent Torah study thus proliferates. How beautiful is she who rises from the desert (Shir Hashirim 3:6).

It is the inspiration that draws from below, the feminine dimension of our connection with Hashem. It is a connection of inner desire and the willing devotion of the heart.

I have no intention of promoting one type of study over another. I am not interested in advancing any agenda. What matters to me is to encourage the opening of Jewish spiritual treasures to women who desire them without them having to contend with raised eyebrows and dismissive messages. It is unacceptable that any non-Jew can enter a website to study a translated daily page of the Talmud or a passing trend in Kabbalistic studies, while a Charedi woman needs to seek permission to study the Torah she received at Sinai. Worse than that, she may receive belittling and undermining comments that cast doubt on the purity of her intentions. No man has ever been asked about the purity of his intentions in studying Gemara, although there are surely many who do so for reasons of social status and communal recognition. Let us leave these investigations to the One Who examines hearts and minds and not worry too much that it will increase insincere individuals. The study’s content and nature are entirely the learner’s personal decision; it is a matter between her and the Creator.

The heart’s will is the essence, the crux of the person. “I” (ani) means “my place” (an sheli) – the “where” that I want, the destination to which my heart’s desire leads. According to the Zohar, desire is the channel for receiving one’s personal Torah. Female Torah study is deep in this realm, the realm of desire. It is the deepest expression of the connection of the Jewish people with Hashem. It is the inspiration that draws from below, the feminine dimension of our connection with Hashem. It is a connection of inner desire and the willing devotion of the heart. These aspirations and passions are valid and worthy in Hashem’s eyes, even if they are not socially approved. He praises them and is proud of them. You are beautiful when you desire.

[1] R. Klonimos Kalmish Shapira, Sermons from the Years of Divine Wrath (a collection of his sermons written in the Warsaw ghetto), Chukat 5702 p. 183.

[2] R. Shimshon David Pincus, Tiferes Shimshon (Devarim) 130-131.